Art School Rabbi Chanukah Special

Rabbi Simcha.com is pleased to present the Art School Rabbi Comic, an on going satirical series about Rabbi Simcha’s life as campus rabbi.

In this fifth episode Rabbi Simcha discusses the miracle of Chanukah. Please use the comments form below. We welcome all feedback and look forward to hearing your ideas for future storylines.

Art School Rabbi is illustrated by talented artist Dave Ben-Yshay.
Check out his amazing website Shkoyach – The New Age Jewish Comic Strip.

Chanukah: A Time For Superheroes

Doctor Leonard Samson, better known as “Doc Samson,” strides down the corridor and into the classroom, massive muscles rippling beneath his skin-tight red costume. He sports a long mane of hair, just like his biblical namesake (except the real Samson’s hair wasn’t green, presumably).

Today, Doc Samson, taking a welcome break from his crime fighting, is visiting the children at his old Hebrew school to tell them all about Chanukah. It’s a very special occasion, so Doc Samson’s wearing a navy kippa along with his skin-tight red costume. The teacher, an aging bubbe named Mrs. Klein, proudly introduces our colorful hero: “I was his teacher here at the yeshiva when he was a very little boy.”

But the chutzpadik kids are unimpressed by their bizarre guest.

One student voices his certainty that Doc Samson had been beaten up by the Hulk. Others ask whether the Maccabees had guns or cable TV. Read more

I Hate Thanksgiving

Maybe I’m just a “fundamentalist” rabbi who’s lost his sense of fun, but when it comes to giving thanks, I don’t “get” it.

We don’t celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday in my native country of England, and can you blame us? Imagine gathering around plates of mushy peas to express your gratitude for another year of record rainfall.

Being new around here, I looked up the history of Thanksgiving and now I’m more confused than ever. Those Pilgrims and their native neighbors first gathered around the table in 1565, in the month of September. Now that makes sense: celebrating a harvest festival during harvest time. (That’s what they still do up in Canada, by the way; their Thanksgiving always falls on the second Monday in October. This year that was also the first night of Sukkot, so that must have made it extra special.) Read more

Hallmark Holiday

Of all the annual “Hallmark holidays”, I hate Valentine’s Day the most.

In high school, we ran to our lockers, hoping to see a bunch of pink and red cards waiting for us. While my locker was never empty, it wasn’t exactly overflowing, either.

High school was a long time ago, but as a rabbi, my contempt for Cupid has only grown. The whole occasion is so fabricated and trite. We send out millions of cards. Drugstores turn themselves into chocolatiers for a week, to the point where I can’t find the vitamins and cough syrup. Florists have their busiest day of the year. Restaurant reservations are at a premium. But after all that build up, how can the day itself turn out to be anything but a flop?

And when we designate a single day to celebrate the power of love, what does that mean for the rest of the year? We hate each other?

Even the Vatican seems to share my low opinion of Valentine’s Day. The “Vatican II” reforms of the 1960s crossed the feast of St Valentine off the Church calendar, explaining that the lore surrounding the “patron saint of lovers” was nothing more than romantic legend.

Speaking of which, one of the least known but perhaps most joyous and festive holidays on the Jewish calendar occurs on the 15th Day of the Hebrew month of Av.

Tu B’Av, the 15th Day of Av, is both an ancient and modern holiday. At one time, it marked a matchmaking day for unmarried women. In modern times, Tu B’Av has slowly evolved into a Hebrew-Jewish “Day of Love,” a little like Valentine’s Day.

The last Mishnah in Tractate Ta’anis says:

“There were no holidays so joyous for the Jewish People as Tu B’Av (the Fifteenth of Av) and Yom HaKippurim (The Day of Atonement), for on those days, daughters of Jerusalem would go out dressed in borrowed white clothing.”

The Mishnah explains that women borrowed each others’ white dresses, so as not to bring shame upon those who couldn’t afford finery. On that day, the poorest woman may have ended up wearing the most expensive dress. The message to suitors was not to judge their potential brides by mere externals.

If only Valentine’s Day could incorporate a lesson from Tu B’Av: it doesn’t matter how many cards you get in your locker, as long as you find that one special card that you’ll treasure for a lifetime.

Simcha Weinstein is an internationally known best-selling author. His first book, Up, Up and Oy Vey! received the Benjamin Franklin Award for the best book of 2007. He has appeared on CNN “Showbiz Tonight,” and NPR, and has been profiled in leading publications including The New York Times, The Miami Herald and the London Guardian. He is a regular contributor to the Jerusalem Post and Jewish Telegraphic Agency (JTA). He chairs the Religious Affairs Committee at the renowned New York art school, Pratt Institute. His latest book Shtick Shift: Jewish Humor in the 21st century (Barricade Books: 2008) is on sale now.

Everything Changes But You

As an Englishman in New York, I sometimes find myself balanced between two cultures that are more different than you might think.

As the old joke goes: “America and England are two nations divided by a common language.” Here’s an example: I have spent the last decade as the Chair the Religious Affairs Committee at America’s renowned art school, Pratt Institute. But when I’m “back home,” I reminded by my old mates that the word “prat” is, well, not exactly a term of endearment.

So I felt like a “prat” when I found out that I almost missed the latest craze across the pond. I was shocked to see my English friends updating their Facebook profiles with messages like “OMG I just got Take That tickets!”

Take That are back?! Americans have never heard of this cringe-worthy boy band that we all used to mock (and many of us secretly liked) back in my university days. Now, they’re no longer boys, but incredibly, these “washed up” performers have reunited with lead singer Robbie Williams — and just sold one million concert tickets in 24 hours.

I did the math and couldn’t believe how much time had passed since Take That’s glory days, when I was still a student (and a long way from becoming a rabbi – or even thinking about it.) It was almost 20 years ago that Nigel Martin-Smith began manufacturing a British boy band, hoping to replicate the meteoric rise of the New Kids on the Block in the United States.

My generation got sucked into the subsequent mass market merchandising mania, buying up Take That dolls, apparel, posters, sticker books – you name it.

So I suppose the band’s resurrection should have come as no surprise. Cultural commentators (not to mention parents who can’t believe their “children” are moving back home) have noticed that adolescence is lasting longer and longer in the West. Many of us are desperately keen to re-live our college years. In fact, some of us are still living them, twenty years on.

Only a generation or two ago, the average twentysomethings had achieved most of adulthood’s milestones — education, job marriage, and children of their own. Yet these days the age of marriage is growing and those having children is dwindling. Such a notion would have been baffling and laughable to our grandparents.

I have to be honest: I’m not enjoying the thought of one million nostalgic, menopausal mammas dancing to Take That’s cover of the Barry Manilow disco hit “Could It Be Magic.” (Although in fairness, my old mates tell the band’s new music isn’t quite as dreadful as their old hits. Naturally, I haven’t listened to any of their latest songs myself…)

British writer Nick Hornby’s bestselling novel, About A Boy, tells the story of two likely lads: Marcus, an eccentric, introverted, bullied 12-year-old with a suicidal mother – and Will, a 36-year-old bachelor. Thanks to the royalties from his father’s hit Christmas song, Will doesn’t have to work and spends his days living the aimless life of an overgrown adolescent: smoking, watching TV, listening to albums, and looking for female companionship.

Following a pleasant (if inevitably short-lived) relationship with a single mother, Will comes up with the idea of attending a support group for single parents as a new way to pick up women. To fit in, he invents a two-year old son called Ned. At one of these meetings, Will meets the very real Marcus, and a friendship develops. Marcus helps Will grow up and visa versa. In the end, both of them start to act their age.

The book and subsequent film version of About A Boy struck a chord with many people of my generation – which, for all their humor, is a sad commentary about my Peter Pan cohort.

And speaking of “chords”: Take That might be back for good, but – call me a ‘prat’ if you like – I’ll give them a miss. I’ve moved on.

Simcha Weinstein is an internationally known best-selling author. His first book, Up, Up and Oy Vey! received the Benjamin Franklin Award for the best book of 2007. He has appeared on CNN “Showbiz Tonight,” and NPR, and has been profiled in leading publications including The New York Times, The Miami Herald and the London Guardian. He is a regular contributor to the Jerusalem Post and Jewish Telegraphic Agency (JTA). He chairs the Religious Affairs Committee at the renowned New York art school, Pratt Institute. His latest book Shtick Shift: Jewish Humor in the 21st century (Barricade Books: 2008) is on sale now. He will be speaking on Monday, Nov. 22, at the Chabad of Bloomsbury

Fowl Play: Throw a Chicken in the Air

Amongst the harder Jewish traditions to explain to Jews and non-Jews alike is kaparot. This symbolic “atonement” rite, conducted in preparation for Yom Kippur, involves waving a chicken over one’s head three times while reciting the appropriate text.

The chicken is then slaughtered in accordance with halachic procedure, and its equivalent monetary value is given to the poor — or, as is more popular today, the chicken itself is donated to a charitable cause.

Before I hear cries of “fowl play,” bear in mind that during this ritual, the chicken is treated as humanely as possible. After all, Jewish law forbids causing unnecessary pain to any of God’s creations.

In fact, kosher slaughter, or shechita, is widely considered the most painless method of butchery. The animal’s trachea and esophagus is cut with a sharp, flawless knife, rendering it insensate almost immediately.

Please note: I’m not heartless or naive. I won’t tell you that the slaughtered animal feels nothing. In fact, since becoming the rabbi of a liberal arts school (New York’s Pratt Institute) I’ve become more sensitive to these issues. I cater to a large number of vegetarian students, literally: when we gather for Shabbat meals, I forgo my beloved chicken matzo ball soup in favor of a mushroom, barley and asparagus medley, out of respect for their preferences.

Because of my students’ concerns, I’ve paid more attention to the controversies surrounding kaparot in recent years. Animal rights groups including PETA say these large annual gatherings leave unsanitary conditions, which is a legitimate cause for concern. Occasions when the chickens are simply thrown away (because the cost of cleaning and processing them for food is considered too high) must be discouraged.

PETA also argues that the underlying message of the ritual could be retained if prayers were simply recited over donated money, rather than a doomed chicken. Indeed, I encourage those uncomfortable with traditional kaparot to explore this reverent alternative.

However, even this variation of kaparot poses a problem. Yes, the money is used to feed the poor over the holidays—but if the meal being paid for turns out to be chicken (and there’s a good chance it is) then a chicken will still be slaughtered. At the end of the day, has anything been gained by altering a Jewish ritual dating back thousands of years?

Now, here is a timely (and more lighthearted) question – what is worse? Sacrificing meat for charitable and religious purposes, or wearing it as clothing?

Pop star Lady Gaga’s now infamous “meat dress” (and matching purse, hat and shoes) which she wore to a music industry award ceremony earlier this month, was a follow up to the meat bikini she wore on the cover of the Japanese edition of Vogue. Naturally, as a rabbi I can’t help but wonder if any of this meat was kosher. The media went wild with questions of its own: Why did she wear a meat dress? And who made it? Lady Gaga maintained that her dress (designed by Franc Fernandez) was a protestation of discrimination against gays.

Lady Gaga didn’t exactly reveal herself to be a font of great wisdom, and responded to questions with banal, pop spirituality sound bites: “If we don’t stand up for what we believe in and if we don’t fight for our rights,” she explained, “pretty soon we’re going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones. And I am not a piece of meat.”

Lady Gaga might think she’s making a deep and profound point, but her stunt actually seems pretty shallow. Millions of people go to bed hungry every night, yet food is “sacrificed” to create wearable “art” that will be thrown away in a few hours, all so a performer can briefly capture the spotlight on the red carpet.

I know I’m a rabbi and not an “artist” like Lady Gaga, but none of that sounds very kosher to me.

Simcha Weinstein is an internationally known best-selling author. His first book, Up, Up and Oy Vey! received the Benjamin Franklin Award for the best book of 2007. He has appeared on CNN “Showbiz Tonight,” and NPR, and has been profiled in leading publications including The New York Times, The Miami Herald and the London Guardian. He is a regular contributor to the Jerusalem Post and Jewish Telegraphic Agency (JTA). He chairs the Religious Affairs Committee at the renowned New York art school, Pratt Institute. His latest book Shtick Shift: Jewish Humor in the 21st century (Barricade Books: 2008) is on sale now.

Meet Rabbi Simcha Weinstein at Montreal Jewish Public Libary

Up Up and Oy Vey! How Jewish History, Culture, and Values Shaped the Comic Book Superhero
by Rabbi Simcha Weinstein
at the Montreal Jewish Public Library 5151, Côte Ste-Catherine Road
Thursday October 7, 2010 7:30 p.m.

While the Jewish contribution to film, theatre, music and comedy has been well documented, the Jewish role in the creation of the All-American superhero has not been – until now! From the birth of Krypton in Cleveland to Batman, Hulk, Spider-Man, the X-Men and more, Rabbi Weinstein will chronicle the unusual story behind the origins of the planet’s most famous superheroes.

Rabbi Simcha Weinstein is an internationally known best-selling author who is also a popular television and radio guest, having appeared on CNN Showbiz Tonight, NPR and other programs. He has also been profiled in many leading publications, including the New York Times, the Miami Herald, the Seattle Times and the London Guardian.

Books and autographs available.

$5 members/students*
$10 non-members
Advance tickets: (514) 345-6416
Info: (514) 345-2627 ext. 3006

* Tickets at the member rate must be purchased in advance.
Students pay member rate at all times.
Call for details. Doors open 30 minutes prior to the event.
Free parking at the YM-YWHA.

Sponsored by the Helen Bassel Endowment.

Hookah in the Sukkah

Rabbi Simcha invites you to A Pratt JSU Event
Hookah in the Sukkah
Monday 27th September 7pm
in the Pratt Sukkah
(courtyard outside of the chapel)

Art School Rabbi Rosh Hashanah Special

Rabbi Simcha.com is pleased to present the Art School Rabbi Comic, an on going satirical series about Rabbi Simcha’s life as campus rabbi

In this seventh episode Rabbi Simcha learns a Rosh Hashanah lesson. Please use the comments form below. We welcome all feedback and look forward to hearing your ideas for future storylines.

Art School Rabbi is illustrated by talented artist Dave Ben-Yshay.
Check out his amazing website Shkoyach – The New Age Jewish Comic Strip.

Hadas Gallery

Hadas Gallery is a grass roots student-driven organization committed to using the arts as a means for creative self-expression and reflection.

(Hebrew Myr ∙ tle)
- noun
1. Hadas. A bough of the Myrtle tree that forms one of the Four Species held together on the Jewish holiday of Sukkot.

Submissions?
Contact: Info@HadasGallery.com

Located in The Rohr Center
543 Myrtle Avenue
(between Steuben & Emerson)
Clinton Hill / Bed Stuy (Facing the Pratt Store)

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